Fanon Snape vs Canon Snape

This was inspired by tviokh from livejournal's wonderfully funny story "Defence Against the Dark Pests". Fanon Snape is the odd, scary Snape that has developed through fanfiction, fanart and general fandom opinions...often a willowy, gorgeous bishounen with rock-hard abs and shiny (not slimy, of course) hair.

See, some of us *like* Snape the way he is in the books - a cantankerous, greasy, sarcastic bastard.

...why are you looking at me like that?